A series of unfortunate events
What a beautiful morning, the sun shining brightly into my room. I roll over in bed a couple of times and give a contented stretch, yawn & smile after a good nights rest. I think to myself “What a pleasant way to start the morning”
Then I take a look at my swatch
SHIT 8.30!
SHIT I’m friggin late
SHIT the sun is damn bright
SHIT I need to SHIT
Half way through the process
SHIT no toilet paper
SHIT I won’t describe what happened next
Then I grab my ‘bak chang’ & purple water bottle & move as quick as lightning like my Tekong compatriots to the trusty backdoor of Chancery Court (the only reason why my home is considered ‘of good location, near to the MRT station’). I insert the key and turn, but it does not turn. I flip the key around and turn again, but it does not turn (Which is actually quite a retarded move now that I am thinking about it as the key is symmetrical). I do this about 10 times, flipping the key and turning until I finally look up and see a sign in miniscule font pasted on the door
“lock is spoilt” SHIT
So I take the long long way thinking about why don’t they leave the gate open if the lock is spoilt and how many different ways my boss would kill me if she knew that I was still at NEWTON when work started.
The 167 must have been turbo charged along with nitro cause somehow it got me outside Nee Soon Camp in what I believe was 15min. But that’s where the change of luck ended. I step out of the wonder bus to the wonder of water falling out of the sky. SHIT
Well at least I made it to the office alive and stayed alive after apologizing & explaining my series of unfortunate events to my boss.
I guess the only really good thing that happened is that when I got to the newton bus stop there was this reasonably attractive woman sitting there alone. Courage & wit decided not to be my friend that morning and thus I did not try to talk to her. And just as well, with my winning luck of the morning, the conversation would probably have gone like this:
“Hi, late for work too?”
“Ha? Dui bu qi, wo don’t speak English”
“SHIT”
posted by yado
Then I take a look at my swatch
SHIT 8.30!
SHIT I’m friggin late
SHIT the sun is damn bright
SHIT I need to SHIT
Half way through the process
SHIT no toilet paper
SHIT I won’t describe what happened next
Then I grab my ‘bak chang’ & purple water bottle & move as quick as lightning like my Tekong compatriots to the trusty backdoor of Chancery Court (the only reason why my home is considered ‘of good location, near to the MRT station’). I insert the key and turn, but it does not turn. I flip the key around and turn again, but it does not turn (Which is actually quite a retarded move now that I am thinking about it as the key is symmetrical). I do this about 10 times, flipping the key and turning until I finally look up and see a sign in miniscule font pasted on the door
“lock is spoilt” SHIT
So I take the long long way thinking about why don’t they leave the gate open if the lock is spoilt and how many different ways my boss would kill me if she knew that I was still at NEWTON when work started.
The 167 must have been turbo charged along with nitro cause somehow it got me outside Nee Soon Camp in what I believe was 15min. But that’s where the change of luck ended. I step out of the wonder bus to the wonder of water falling out of the sky. SHIT
Well at least I made it to the office alive and stayed alive after apologizing & explaining my series of unfortunate events to my boss.
I guess the only really good thing that happened is that when I got to the newton bus stop there was this reasonably attractive woman sitting there alone. Courage & wit decided not to be my friend that morning and thus I did not try to talk to her. And just as well, with my winning luck of the morning, the conversation would probably have gone like this:
“Hi, late for work too?”
“Ha? Dui bu qi, wo don’t speak English”
“SHIT”
